Dear Dr. Debbie,
My firstborn had some sensory issues that he’s gotten much better with. For example, he’s making progress in swimming lessons despite formerly going into a panic when his face got wet. Washing his hair in the bathtub was a nightmare for several years. Now that he’s almost seven, he is trying to master pumping on a swing. Meanwhile, his little sister has been independently using a swing since she was four.
Are there tricks for teaching him? I admire his persistence, but he struggles to get everything coordinated when I try to coach him through the movements.
The Mom Who Still Pushes
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Dear MWSP,
Bravo on his progress with swimming! As you have noticed between your two children, there isn’t a set timeline for all children for mastering skills, although, barring physical or psychological limitations, there is usually a general pattern of forward progression.
Sensory Integration
Has your son worked with a specialist to help him manage his Sensory Integration? An occupational therapist would help him practice physical movements over and over to reduced his overreactions to stimuli. It may be that he is gravitationally insecure. This means that any physical posture or movement that changes him from a balanced and upright position can be quite unsettling. This could explain the challenges of getting his hair washed, which would require tilting his head back for the water to run off down his back and not down his face. Most children have trouble with this since their instinct is to duck forward to protect the face – which unfortunately makes the water and shampoo go straight to the face and in their eyes. A child with sensory issues, exacerbated by gravitational insecurity, struggles when tilting backwards because it throws off his balance. And he agonizes as well when he tilts his head forward because then his face gets wet.
Practice
It sounds like you and your son have worked out a hair washing routine that is no longer met with active resistance. This is how occupational therapy works. With repetition, the nervous system gets used to a pattern of movements and the sensations they cause. Over time, the brain gets desensitized to the uncomfortable feeling of having a wet face, or of being off balance, as can happen on a swing.
Interestingly, swings are often used in occupational therapy for a child with sensory issues, particularly a child with sensitivity to his own body movement. Swinging on a swing heightens a child’s awareness of where his body is in space, and, as he masters the forces of his muscles on the swing, this puts him in control of moving his body.
Motivation
The best motivation for gaining a new skill comes from within. You mention that your son has an inner drive to achieve this common playground skill. It seems to be working for him for learning how to swim! His sister and other children his own age can pump their legs and use their arms to propel themselves on the swings. They are having fun! Of course this is something he wants to be able to do for himself.
You can support his goal with your interest and encouragement. Keep literally pushing him. The motion of being on a swing is helping his brain get used to the rhythm of the forward and backward arcs. His arms, torso, and legs should feel the force of gravity that pulls the body down to the starting position, and if they work together, augment the pendulum-like rise, forward and backward. As these sensations become well-integrated, he will get to experience the fun that comes more easily for other children.
Keep Swinging
If you have options for using different swings, ask him to compare flat swing seats with more flexible rubber seats. A swinger has more control on a stiff seat, while a bucket seat or even a body-hugging sling seat is better at keeping the body from slipping off.
See if he prefers a one-on-one swinging practice – just you and him without expert swingers around. He might be able to focus more on coordinating all the pieces of thrusting legs forward while leaning back and tucking legs under while pulling forward, if there aren’t other children around. On the other hand, maybe he’d rather be able to match rhythms and movements with another child and if little sister doesn’t mind, and your son doesn’t mind using her in this way, she can be a model of how to do it.
Different children have different challenges and their own timetable for overcoming them. Bravo to you for standing behind your late swinger as long as he needs you to.
Dr. Debbie
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum.
The museum is open daily from 10 am to 4 pm. Online reservations are available or call: 410-990-1993. Each Thursday there is a guided nature walk at 10:30 am. Art and Story Times with Mrs. Spears are on Monday mornings at 10:30 am.
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