Dear Dr. Debbie,
I am dreading the change of clocks because we have two children who are hard enough to get up and out each morning as it is. They are six and eight-years-old. Will this get easier with age? I have heard that our high school bus stop times are pretty early.
Pulling Heads Off Pillows
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Dear PHOP,
Fast-paced family life includes many hurried moments, which can include the morning rush. There’s a scramble for bathrooming, clothes, breakfast, backpacks, lunches, and going back for that one more thing that was almost forgotten. If you have family members whose engines can’t get into gear before 9 or 10 am, this makes all these steps more difficult.
A Factor of Temperament
You are correct about sleep patterns being different for different ages, however your family may just include a couple of night owls who will never have smooth exits from the nest in the morning.
The theory of temperament, first reported on in the late 1950’s by Stella Thomas and her husband Alexander Chess, identifies nine traits that we inherit, like eye color, that remain steady through one’s lifetime. The research of Thomas and Chess continued for decades and followed some families for a couple of generations.
The trait known as “Rhythmicity” is described as one’s place on a continuum from the typical patterns each day for being tired, hungry, etc. to having no regular patterns from day to day. A person with irregular rhythmicity is always fighting the clock. She’s tired when it’s time to be awake. She’s full of energy when it’s time to go to sleep. And these irregular rhythms can change from day to day.
Children (and adults) who often struggle to get out of the bed in the morning are classified as being on the irregular end of the continuum.
Tips and Tricks
You can’t change your children’s genetics, but there are a few things you can try that might make your mornings less stressful.
- Time Shift – Move as many tasks as possible from the morning to the day or evening before. This can include laying out, or even putting on, the clothes to be worn, preparing – at least part of – breakfast and lunches, and checking backpacks and putting them by the door or in the car.
- Placement Habits – Those backpacks, as well as shoes and seasonal outerwear, are always kept in the same place. Check these as part of the after dinner and before bedtime routine.
- Calming bedtime routines – Follow a predictable sequence for brushing teeth, getting into pj’s, choosing books for the parent to read aloud, and some soft singing while you gently rub the children’s backs. The pattern, and its calming atmosphere, reassures your children of their parents’ love and care. Hopefully this supports restful sleep.
- Count down – Set timers for each morning task so everything isn’t crammed into too short a time. Have the children help you to set these times and adjust as needed. (Do a dry run on the weekend to time everything!) For example, maybe 5 minutes from your wakeup kiss to time in the bathroom. (If the children share a bathroom, allow for time alone.) The next alarm signals that it’s time to get fully dressed. Your older child might want to control his or her own alarm setting.
- Rewards – Celebrate the days that getting out the door happens on time. Start off with a family award the same day (visit a playground in the evening since it doesn’t get dark until later!), then reduce that to after three days in a row, then a big award if you achieve five days in a row.
The theory of Behavior Modification says that once a person experiences the good feeling that the desired behavior brings (i.e. no morning stress), this becomes the motivation for continuing the behavior. Of course you might continue going to the playground just because it’s a fun family activity!
Sleep Science
Your night owls may still need your support for successful morning routines in high school. Biological shifts in adolescence move the common time for getting sleepy ahead by three hours! So if your six-year-old is sleepy by 9 pm, this becomes midnight. They still need about nine hours of sleep! Fortunately, school districts across the country, including Maryland, are respecting the science of sleep that tells us how important it is to get those zzzz’s. Pending legislation for the state of Maryland would require that high school not start before 8:30 am across the state. Stay tuned for progress on this important action which would take effect in the 2026-2027 school year, well before your children get to high school.
At least in college, and in choosing a career path, your children can look ahead to setting schedules for themselves that respect their night owl inner clocks.
No More DST
Related to sleep science and steady daily rhythms, there has also been legislative activity state by state and on a national level to move toward ceasing this twice yearly clock change ritual. Dr. Karin Johnson, professor of neurology at UMass Chan School of Medicine-Baystate and medical director of the Baystate Health Regional Sleep Program in Springfield, Massachusetts, is a proponent of keeping to our Standard Time settings year-round.
Daylight Savings Time has been an on-again off-again tactic for various reasons since 1918. With inconsistencies across the country since then (Hawaii and Arizona don’t switch their clocks) this has caused complications with inter-state interactions. Current arguments against continuing to switch back and forth include the disruption it causes for our very scheduled lives.
Eventually, our country will come to agreement about how to set our clocks once and for all. If the decision is to stick with Standard Time, families like yours would benefit the most!
Dr. Debbie
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum.
The museum is open daily from 10 am to 4 pm. Online reservations are available or call: 410-990-1993. Each Thursday there is a guided nature walk at 10:30 am. Art and Story Times with Mrs. Spears are on Monday mornings at 10:30 am.
Read more of Dr. Wood’s Good Parenting columns by clicking here.